Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
They should really pass out barf bags in church
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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