dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
