woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize