So drunk its hurt
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
