so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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