Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
