I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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