I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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