I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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