i'm signing you up for texting rehab
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
