He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
