Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize