No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
