the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
