I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize