I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
