He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
