the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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