Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
