I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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