At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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