Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
