I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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