You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Houston, we have a blender
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
