it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
