oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
