walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
