Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm too high and old for this...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
