I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
