Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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