I don't usually arrange sex via text message
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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