she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
