i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
