how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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