and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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