Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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