Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
