just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
