yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
