I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
