Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
