Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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