im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
