but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
