I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
