she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
