so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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