Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
