Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just had sex on a roof
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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