my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
