You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
