So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize