all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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