He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
soo... how was my night?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize