I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
