You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
my poor anus
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
