what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
