so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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