do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
