Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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