i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
