Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
