You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
