hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
