Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Is Oprah even human
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
soo... how was my night?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
