so that wasnt chicken after all
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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