i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
